A few years ago, my silent prayer as I prepared myself for my workday was a call for "Clarity, insight, and above all, effectiveness, in all my work endeavors."  Effectiveness, especially, is the hallmark of a personality like mine.  Don't bother to do something unless you commit to doing it right. Commit to excellence.  I wanted anything I was associated with to bear the mark of excellence and to be successful.  In the end, that often meant that I worked alone, or did most of the work, to meet my own high standards.  I achieved.  It's "what I do."

About two years ago, it became apparent to me, through crisis and courageous mentors, that my style could alienate people who wondered why I had to go it alone - was I that hungry for glory?  People wondered why I got the high-visibility projects (because I stepped up to the challenge, but that's beside the point) and people got jealous of the praise and success I got over and over. 

Through lots of self examination and coaching, I changed, and my prayer changed.  It reflected my change of heart.  Now, when I am on my way to work, and I pray to start the day, I ask that I may be a source of Comfort, that I would inspire Confidence, and Joy among my co-workers.  Comfort and Joy.  Just like Christmas.

Things are better.  Not focusing on Effectiveness means I am not personally "on the hook" for delivering all the results.  It means I'm not always judging a situation or a result or a person's performance, as good enough or not.  Focusing on Comfort and Confidence means I am personally on the hook for helping my co-workers feel safe, and valued and listened to.  Focusing on Confidence means I am still being true to my need to do good work, and that the good work at the service of others will help them know they can rely on me and trust me.

I also add Joy to my list.  I do so want to impart or facilitate Joy.  I am not a witty or funny person, so I don't generally make people laugh as do the gifted "clowns" of the organization.  But, I hope that somehow, my own deep Joy in God's presence will come through to others and make them joyful for having interacted with me.  Maybe it is more a Peace I want to leave them with - Peace is Joy at rest, so my understated Joy may come across as Peace, and that would be lovely.

I have recently added that I hope for Respect.  I don't need accolades and I don't need Power, but I would like Respect from the people I work with.  I think I have it.  I hope I continually earn it.