Countdown to Fifty
86 Days.
'Used to be, age was "just a number." I didn't get too excited or worried about it. Not at 30, or 40 or even 49. Now I approach the big five-oh, and I'm... uh... thinking about it. Damn.
I know why. It's all the annoying little things (well, some are not so little) that have come along with aging that now, I notice. For instance -
I shave every day. How gross is that? I'm not talking legs, either. I'm talking those stiff, stubble chin hairs that, if I were a witch in the wood, I would gladly let grow spindly and long cause, damn, they're scary.
I have intrusive long gray or white hairs in my eyebrows. They just flare up there, at an angle that would befit Vincent Price, and they are very unruly. They get plucked. But I don't usually notice them until they've grown, oh, five times longer than all my other eyebrow hairs, and by then, who knows how many people I have freaked out?
I have age spots. On my hands, on my arms, on my face for godsakes. Soon, I, whose skin is not allowed to be in direct sunlight for more than 5 minutes, will have the most amazing "tan" because all those age spots will run together, creating brown skin. It's Michael Jackson disease in reverse. People will think I'm trying to be black.
And oh, yes, there's the little matter of the extra hundred pounds I lug around. This is truly annoying. And, as I sidle up to fifty, I'm thinking I've run out of time for my "plan" to work. My "plan" went something like this:
I need to lose weight, but I hate to diet and I don't much like exercise. I was determined not to hate myself or my fat because that just gives a person more reasons to overeat (self-punishment, guilt). So, my plan was, I will just be my own, peaceful, faithful, loving self, and God will create a miracle where, gradually, I will not crave, will not binge, and will truly desire only healthy foods; I will also eventually automatically stop eating when I am full; and my daily 13-block walks to work will help with the exercise part. These things will happen on their own, because I want them to, and I will be okay.
Yeah, that plan didn't work out. And I think I subconsiously gave myself through my 40's to be patient and let "the plan" work. (This is also called "being lazy," being "in denial" among other things.)
So, Gil challenged me to say "what I really wanted" for my birthday. I thought about it, and I said, "I would like to lose this spare tire around my middle." He immediately forgot this birthday wish, because it was "nothing he could get for me." I'm on my own on this one. So be it.
Since I'm on my own, and since it is only 86 days till my fiftieth birthday, I am workin' the weight thing. As I said, I've been thinking about this for some time, and, back in the Fall I bought a treadmill. Loving it. What a surprise, but I am. I also bought a big light-weight donut-shaped frisbee-like thing. It doesn't say Frisbee on it though, it says Beamo. Mary says that is so that we can "Be mo' active." So, when the weather is good, we run around the yard and work up a sweat with Beamo. I also use the free weights that we've had lying around for years. I am, so far, actually enjoying this.
So, countdown to fifty. What other things should I expect? I've already highlighted my hair (it looks FABulous- well, as fabulous as a fat 50-year old can look anyway). Oh! Did I say that? I didn't mean to.
I do like myself. I don't like my fat, and I don't like the way it looks. But "it" is not "me." I am so well-loved by my family that I never feel unlovable. I thank them for that. And everyone else who is so kind to me, too.
So, for those who love me so well, this is what I'm going to do - I'm going to try to reduce my risk factors for making an early exit from this life due to high blood pressure, diabetes and other maladies that come with obesity. I'm going to try to stick around a little longer, and be in better shape so I can have fun with y'all. I would like to play pick-up soccer with my kids and grandkids. I would like to go horseback riding with the family. I would like to go canoeing again, and play at the waterpark with the kids. I'm not willing to give up the second half of my life, which starts in 86 days.
Holy cow.
Copyright (c) 2007
'Used to be, age was "just a number." I didn't get too excited or worried about it. Not at 30, or 40 or even 49. Now I approach the big five-oh, and I'm... uh... thinking about it. Damn.
I know why. It's all the annoying little things (well, some are not so little) that have come along with aging that now, I notice. For instance -
I shave every day. How gross is that? I'm not talking legs, either. I'm talking those stiff, stubble chin hairs that, if I were a witch in the wood, I would gladly let grow spindly and long cause, damn, they're scary.
I have intrusive long gray or white hairs in my eyebrows. They just flare up there, at an angle that would befit Vincent Price, and they are very unruly. They get plucked. But I don't usually notice them until they've grown, oh, five times longer than all my other eyebrow hairs, and by then, who knows how many people I have freaked out?
I have age spots. On my hands, on my arms, on my face for godsakes. Soon, I, whose skin is not allowed to be in direct sunlight for more than 5 minutes, will have the most amazing "tan" because all those age spots will run together, creating brown skin. It's Michael Jackson disease in reverse. People will think I'm trying to be black.
And oh, yes, there's the little matter of the extra hundred pounds I lug around. This is truly annoying. And, as I sidle up to fifty, I'm thinking I've run out of time for my "plan" to work. My "plan" went something like this:
I need to lose weight, but I hate to diet and I don't much like exercise. I was determined not to hate myself or my fat because that just gives a person more reasons to overeat (self-punishment, guilt). So, my plan was, I will just be my own, peaceful, faithful, loving self, and God will create a miracle where, gradually, I will not crave, will not binge, and will truly desire only healthy foods; I will also eventually automatically stop eating when I am full; and my daily 13-block walks to work will help with the exercise part. These things will happen on their own, because I want them to, and I will be okay.
Yeah, that plan didn't work out. And I think I subconsiously gave myself through my 40's to be patient and let "the plan" work. (This is also called "being lazy," being "in denial" among other things.)
So, Gil challenged me to say "what I really wanted" for my birthday. I thought about it, and I said, "I would like to lose this spare tire around my middle." He immediately forgot this birthday wish, because it was "nothing he could get for me." I'm on my own on this one. So be it.
Since I'm on my own, and since it is only 86 days till my fiftieth birthday, I am workin' the weight thing. As I said, I've been thinking about this for some time, and, back in the Fall I bought a treadmill. Loving it. What a surprise, but I am. I also bought a big light-weight donut-shaped frisbee-like thing. It doesn't say Frisbee on it though, it says Beamo. Mary says that is so that we can "Be mo' active." So, when the weather is good, we run around the yard and work up a sweat with Beamo. I also use the free weights that we've had lying around for years. I am, so far, actually enjoying this. So, countdown to fifty. What other things should I expect? I've already highlighted my hair (it looks FABulous- well, as fabulous as a fat 50-year old can look anyway). Oh! Did I say that? I didn't mean to.
I do like myself. I don't like my fat, and I don't like the way it looks. But "it" is not "me." I am so well-loved by my family that I never feel unlovable. I thank them for that. And everyone else who is so kind to me, too.
So, for those who love me so well, this is what I'm going to do - I'm going to try to reduce my risk factors for making an early exit from this life due to high blood pressure, diabetes and other maladies that come with obesity. I'm going to try to stick around a little longer, and be in better shape so I can have fun with y'all. I would like to play pick-up soccer with my kids and grandkids. I would like to go horseback riding with the family. I would like to go canoeing again, and play at the waterpark with the kids. I'm not willing to give up the second half of my life, which starts in 86 days.
Holy cow.
Copyright (c) 2007
I LOVE this one -- we laughed and laughed. Maybe cuz we can identify with it so easily. I just MAY have to start shaving after all!!
Is that the bathroom photo?
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By the way, what's with this "half-way"? Don't you know longevity within the next 20 years will automatically be 150? Let's say one-third of your life is over, or maybe one-quarter!
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No, I had no idea! Oh my. I'm not sure I know what to do with that information. How do I plan? Oh my. I guess maybe I'll plan to open my kick-ass bed & breakfast, oh, perhaps when I'm 66.
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Amen Carrie!
I am with you in so many ways!
I have got the treadmill, the free-weights, and a dog to walk. All I need now is the motivation and some spare time to use it. You inspire me!
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